I'm in my room and i'm working on songs for a European split 7" with Owen. In a mad dash for lyrics, I found this old sketchbook that i sorta kept while Hey Mercedes was recording
Everynight Fire Works and i came across this
100 point list i made. Presented here in its entirety (errors included) to help me procrastinate. Proceed with caution.
001 Lie on your back, arms outstretched in the big band room on the thick red throw rug behind the heavy orange partition perpendicular to the wall of green velvetty curtains.
002 You-know-who pose.
003 Take your wallet out and place it off of the rug.
004 Draw a star on your left inner wrist.
005 Lose feeling in your left arm, as it is bearing your weight.
006 Think too hard about what to write and
007 What not to say.
008 Draw pointless maps with clever (maybe?) names for the streets and sights and try to keep it from others until you are done.
009 Consciously be more stubborn than your most stubborn friends.
010 Be difficult when generally uncomfortable.
011 Be difficult if at least one other person thinks it's funny.
012 Constantly make pointless lists.
013 Never stick to them.
015 Always skip #14 when making lists.
016 Take a break to stare at nearest xxx ceiling.
017 Mourn first crossed out error.
018 Always provide time, date, and page number. (12:45 pm, May 7 2001, page 7)
019 Worry about hairloss, thus causing quicker hairloss.
020 Remind yourself it's ok to be a little gray.
021 Find quality matched dye asap take pictures to not forget great red shade.
022 Wish you loved that shade from the get-go.
023 Remember that time when MK defended me during a "pick on bob" session and for no apparent reason, mentioned that i had red hair, as if that had anything to do with it.
024 Sigh.
025 Stretch out again on thick red throw rug (to be continued).
026 Start breathing.
027 Buy big sketchbook (impulse).
028 Write in it like a fucking maniac for 3 days straight, maybe even a week.
029 Lose interest, leaving the majority of the book blank.
030 Wait 6 months.
031 Buy another journal.
032 Repeat as unnecessary.
033 Go back into the main control room to listen to Tortoise's "Djed" with MF at the controls, kind of annoyingly, actually.
034 Flashback to remote control practices that i will never understand.
035 Shun the damn tv. You don't need it anymore. You have grown out of it.
036 Ponder continuing od occurences.
037 Wonder what time it is now.
038 Hope JT goes 808 up in here on "The Promise."
037 Think twice about asking Travis to sing on it.
038 Clean out backpack.
039 Do not be afraid to throw things away! People on ebay won't want them either.
040 Again with the remote control! Do i do this?
041 Reassure self that you actually don't do this.
042 Wonder if i'm being totally honest about it.
043 Free yourself of all secrets
044 Run through a park. The biggest green spot the map has to offer.
045 Buy more jazz music. You can never have enough!
046 Revisit #40
047 Think about developing a headache.
048 Wish you did more yoga.
049 Worry if doing more yoga would cut into writing time.
050 Revisit #40
051 Don't get too involved with the groove because it will certainly be changed within 30 seconds of its beginning.
052 Keep a straight face the whole time to intensify jokes.
053 Worry about being a little too aware of being self-referential.
054 Reassure self that you have been feeling this way long before
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius hit the bookshelves.
055 Read 10 more pages of
Infinite Jest.
056 Finish
The Name of the World. It's a novella for fuck's sake.
057 Put on a CD and then leave the room.
058 Come back.
059 Wonder if you are fat or getting fat.
060 Ponder exercise and give yoga another chance. I need to be a part of it.
061 Join Bally's or somewhere else where you can swim often. Swimming (as that guy said) is the best exercise for singers (least damaging). Yoga is a very close second. Followed by pullups.
062 Get psyched about that new pullup bar.
063 Do not start liking The Dandy Warhols!
064 Beware of the media hype machine. It's a strong one. No one can tell you what to do or what to listen to, ok?
065 Be strong.
066 Hold your own.
067 Discreetly, don't give a flying fuck.
068 Get excited because JT just called, saying he's got phat beats. Oh yeah!
069 Plan on stopping this nonsense once you get to #100.
070 No room at the inn anymore. Go sleep in the van.
071 Remember when Shirley Manson told you that your first bus tour is like losing your virginity.
072 Remember losing your virginity.
073 Don't remember too much of it! You were drunk, you fucking moron.
074 Remember her name. Wonder what she's doing now.
075 Wonder if it would be a bad idea to try and find her.
076 Yes, bad idea.
077 Write it all out, every last drop of ink.
078 Will you just fuck off already?
079 Call your girlfriend. She probably would like you to and you could stand getting away from this book for awhile.
080 See what you can do.
081 Try and write in a straight line all the time. It tends to look better when flipping through the pages. Of course you never have to read any of this shit, just flip through to make sure it's all there and legible.
082 Make absolutely sure that you don't let one minute slide by unnoticed. Try it for a day. It'll probably be messy.
083 Clean out room as soon as you get back to it.
084 Reference #39
085 Laugh a lot, don't worry about future wrinkles.
086 Reference #63. You cannot get sucked in. You may want to take a gander at #64.
087 Keep in mind you have no idea.
088 Wish you were at home for a fleeting moment.
089 Think about how nobody else can relate to this. Laugh at laughable pathos. (Ugh #63 again) This song is a total ripoff of The Modern Lovers.
090 Wish you didn't say that aloud to DW fan. All forgotten by now, i'm sure.
091 Start to kind of like Queens of the Stone Age.
092 Think about the last time you threw up. Think about it every so often.
093 Cringe at the sound of your voice.
094 Worry about tracklist order. Will listeners get bored.
095 Worry that voice is unbearably droney and heavy - deeper than it once was.
096 Think about Tom Waits and feel a little bit better.
097 Worry about carpal tunnel syndrome and (at this rate) when it's gonna kick in.
098 Give yourself a nice hearty slap on the back for making healthy use of downtime. But is this really so healthy?
099 Remember when you were seriously considering prescription drugs to try and cure possible bipolarity.
100 Bringing it up a thousand times only makes it worse and ironically at the same time makes it less obvious that you have it, you insatiable drama queen... Get to the end of the page as fast as you possibly can can.
