132: I Woke Up Today

And it seems like my back has taken a turn back towards the worse. It was ok yesterday. Perhaps I just slept on it wrong. Saw Owen & William Elliot Whitmore last night and not only was it an amazing show, but I ran into old friends. And wouldn't you know it, i was in a talkin' mood...

So, at 10 am this morning, I head back to Northwestern Memorial for my super white blood cell shot and also my last eye checkup. It's been a weird year for sure. And it's getting weirder. On Tuesday, I leave for... a cruise?! Yep, that's right. As luck would have it, i've been invited to tag along for a 3 day jaunt to the Bahamas. Incredible. I can't think of a happier, sunnier, more exotic place to lose all of my hair! Another fun aspect of the trip is that i'm still planning on recording jingles for the new Threadless shirts showing up on May 1st. Expect some Carribean flair? In the words of the immortal Billy Ocean, "Carribean queen, now we're sharing the same dream, and our hearts that beat as one, no more love on the run." Not very appropriate, but hey, Billy gets so few props these days.

One last thing, i can't help but laugh out loud at how pathetic i look in that picture from the last post. LOL, my friends, LOL. I'm not that miserable!

... see you tonight at Schuba's! I open for Eef Barzelay! Last Chicago show for awhile...

131: You Can't Spell Chemo Without...

We'll need to rewind a few days. On Thurday or Friday, perhaps during an intense ping pong battle, i twisted my lower back. Sure, it hurt over the weekend but on Monday evening, I couldn't even move. I swear to you I had to crawl out of my bed and down the hall to get to the bathroom. It was that bad. And Tuesday was even worse. I was useless at work. I even had to leave early...

This morning, it was no better. Bending over to put on socks was impossible, so i had to just push my way into my shoes. Getting to the bathroom to brush my teeth took twenty excruciating minutes. Getting into the car was more like falling over into the seat, hoping that, like a trust quilt or something, i would be safely caught. I was. It still hurt. In the few months now that i've been going to the oncologist, i've never arrived feeling sick in the slightest. That all changed today as i hobbled and shuffled my way through the door. Sure, it has nothing to do with lymphoma, but i'm a-hurtin' so gimme dem drugs. It is 8 AM.

First order of business. I get weighed (with all my clothes, shoes, mega-bling): 190. And then i step slowly and painfully over to the chair where blood will be drawn. Blood pressure fine, pulse fine, temperature fine, red blood cell count fine, white blood cell count fine, platelets fine. I am escorted into the chemo-room. A large area with comfy leather recliners, each next to an IV tree, a table with kleenex, a bunch of chairs, etc. I choose the one in the furthest corner. My mom wanted to come hang out with me, bless her soul, so she pulls up with a nice breakfast sammich, some coffee, and a bunch of sodoku puzzles. I was hooked but i've tapered.

The next order of business. It's 9:15 AM. In goes the IV, wrapped up tight with a nice smiley face bandage. I get a saline solution drip and a quick push of benadryl. Feeling fine until the benadryl kicks in. I"m lightheaded and i can barely talk. it's as if i'm summoning words from a different section of my chest and my lips don't exactly remember how to mouth it out. Is this supposed to happen? Guess so. Meanwhile, my back is aching terribly and i can't even get comfortable enough to close my eyes and snooze. Woe is me.



First on the menu is Rituxum and they are giving it to me slow to make sure no odd side effects come on. They'll gradually up the dose every 45 minutes or so. Sometime during the first stages of that, i fell asleep. I woke up to the alarm on my IV tree and literally jumped out of the seat. much to the dissapproval of my aching back. This all happened in quick succession. Imagine it. Ding! I jump up! I moan because of the back! My hands are numb! The nurse asks "are you itchy?" Confused, i say no. And she leaves. Immediately after she said that... i got itchy. My head. My ears. My arms. My chest... I was going to tough it out until my mom noticed the sides of my face turning red. She called the nurse over. I had broken out in itchy hives. Common side effect. Enter a side dish of some steroid. Treatment begins again.

This goes on for FIVE hours and we haven't even gotten to the good stuff. The actual chemo. It's called Vincristin and before we jump there, i have to receive an anti-nausea med and some atavan. While that's going in, we talk about Vin's side effects. The nurse matter of factly says "you'll lose all of your hair from head to toe." Esscuse me? The doctor said it would only thin. But oh well. Better start looking for hats. Or clown wigs. I should expect that in about 2 weeks. Other exciting side effects that will come on slow: nausea (got pills for this), constipation (pills), fatigue... and also an increased chance of catching infection... hence i'm getting a white blood cell boosting shot on friday so i'll be all good for my trip next week. I'm going on a trip next week. Didn't tell you? I will...

So, the vincristine gets pushed in after i sign the release form and then comes another drip: cytoxin and THAT goes for an hour and a half. I'm outta there around 4:30. One down, three to go.



***

In other news, I'm aware that the City On Film website is on the blink. I'm trying to figure out the best way to bring it back to life. Doesn't help that i don't actually own the domain name. Or the webspace... I'm considering starting a whole new website. Something that could encompass everything. City On Film PLUS. More thinking to be done.

130: Livin' In The Projects

As if I don't have enough on my plate, i've taken it upon myself to write and record little jingles for all of the new Threadless shirts! More projects... Things are still very busy round here and tonight, straight from work, I drive to Detroit and then Williamsburg, VA for a 5 pm show... tomorrow! Crazy. But that's how it goes. Thanks again, everybody.

You know, during my first sesh, they've encouraged me to bring along a book or my laptop to keep myself busy for the 4-6 hours of treatment. I may just write a 4-6 hour long blog describing every last detail. Would that be horrible? Maybe i'll just catch up on Lost episodes. Or write Threadless jingles.

129: Chemotherapy And You

I realize an update is long overdue, but to be honest, i haven't been in too much of a talking mood lately, plus i had a veritable shit-ton of work to take care of at work, so the time wasn't really available either. Chemotherapy And You. It's the name of the little book the doctors gave me. I thumbed through it and then set it aside. I was more interested in the printouts of the 4 medicines they will be pumping in to me on 4 occasions starting April 19 with a marathon 4-6 hour session. Oh the joy! They are as follows:

Rituximab: A protein that interferes with the way certain lymphoma cells grow and multiply. During my first "infusion" i may experience changes in my breathing, fever, chills, dizziness, or lightheadedness. Some interesting side effects include anxiety, night sweats. and runny nose. Awesome!

Cyclophosphamide: Slows or stops the growth of cancer cells. I'm pretty sure this is the big daddy of the bunch. I'm particularly entranced with the side effects of thinned or brittle hair and blistering skin. Can't wait.

Prednisone: A steroid, included because of it's anti-tumor activity. This has, by far, the best list of possible (albeit, rare) side effects: Restlessness? False sense of well-being? Hallucinations?!

Vincristine: Comes from a plant in the periwinkle family? What the hell? It interferes with the growth of rapidly dividing cells. Odd, since all signs say very clearly that my affliction is indolent. Oh well, you know what they say, oncologist knows best.

The real asskicker of the situation is this. I may not feel too much like singing during all of this and as luck would have it, i probably wouldn't sound too great anyway. They wanted to start the treatment on April 21, aka show at Schuba's, but when i explained that i needed to sing, they switched the date. I guess one of the four above tends to do a number on the esophagus. So... i have a show in Virginia on April 14. Then two shows after the first treatment: April 21 at Schuba's and April 23 at the Triple Rock in Minneapolis. And then City On Film will be going into hibernation for at least the summer and possibly longer... I also play tomorrow night at Logan Square Auditorium with The New Amsterdams, by the way.

I know it all sounds like a lot and i tried to liven it up a bit. Truth is, i'm keeping a positive attitude about the whole thing. I'd just rather not think about it all day long.