TBELL:

Having trouble with working out on two blogs. The GTA blog is up, but logging into it is giving me some problems. I'm having to do some posting via friend Adam (GTA website main-man). Regardless with the trouble, our blog is up.

It's here. Check it out if you want to.

Bob are you still drunk from the pong? Or just excited? That was one helluva post.

Milwaukee has been on the ping-pong tip for awhile, it's been a weekly thing over at the Humbolt ranch for a few months (AKA Bijus'). Of course we need not wear elaborate costumes to consume alcohol and play. What ever makes for a good game I guess..


posted by TBELL at 2:30 PM ***

Robert:

1. True story. Went to the post office today. FYI, the worst one in Chicago, employee-pleasantness-wise. And it was more of the same casual victimization once I reached the counter. My friendly hello just answered with a tired sigh. My fragile air mail package reaching impressive "air" as it was lofted into some nameless bin. (Presumably the trash, I suppose.) ... And then as she was taking my dollars, an odd light came into her eye. She was taking notice of the post office muzak. Her bottom half started to twitch. I can only assume that this was an attempt at a subtle dance... because she started to sing - audibly. Loud enough that I had to look around me and smile at the growing number of gapers. She handed me my change and wished me a wonderful day. What was she singing? Story at 10.

2. I love the blog. We all need the blog. We honor and respect the blog. Where would I be without it? Asleep, perhaps? Wishing I was on tour? Dreaming of defeating Robdog in travel Scrabble?

3. Ah yes. Tour. How novel. Our 6 week tour has hereby been deemed The Summer Vacation Tour. And more and more dates will be confirmed soon.

4. I will now, nearly a week after the fact, tell you all about the illustrious, infamous, glorious competetion that is known as Beer Pong IV. (cue grandiose fanfare.)

I'm not sure where it began. Princeton, perhaps? Where a young student named Rush combined the heart-thumping excitement of ping-pong, bozo buckets, and improv comedy into what is known now as Beer Pong. There were 3 before this one in our windy city, but this was my first ever, and I was a competitor.

So, I studied up on the rules...
- 2 person teams.
- Each team must have a team name.
- Each team must have an unspoken costume / theme to which they adhere and a theme song (which will be played if the team makes it to the playoffs). The team must stay in character throughout the competetion. (This is one of those unspoken rules. People entered the competetion in character and stayed that way throughout.)
- The teams compete at random for 4 times round-robin style matchups. The top 8 teams with the best records make it to the playoffs, where there is no time limit.
- The game goes as follows. One team on each side of a ping pong table, with 10 cups filled with beer arranged pyramid style in front of them. The starting team tries to throw 2 ping pong balls into the opposite teams' plastic cups. If one lands in, that team must drink the cup and discard it. Then, they try and hit the cups of the starting team. It sounds ridiculous and easy, but it gets pretty insane. Really fast.
- Also, if a ball swirls around a cup before it hits liquid, the team can try and blow the ball out to save that beer. It happens a lot and it works. There is even a ref there to officiate. There is also a way to get the ball back if it happens to bounce back over to your side.

So here's how it went.

We are in the car, drinking coffee, planning strategies. We are 2 blocks away from the house. My teammate (TFMIC) and I are to be magicians. Our team name is "It's Magic!" (and we will stress to the announcer that the exclamation point is there for a reason. It needed to be yelled.) We decide it's time to make our appearance so we start changing. I am Mysterio. I have a blonde wig, a large magic hat, a red cape, a pocket full of million dollar bills and a deck of cards. My teammate is Mark Wilson, Magician. He also has a blonde wig and cape, but has a magic cane and a pocket full of change, which eventually will be pulled out of people's ears. We also decide to be the worst magicians ever and we take our jobs way too seriously. Hence, we concoct a handful of magic tricks that won't ever work to perform before and after games.

We are walking down a busy Chicago street in this ridiculous get-up, carrying 3 cases of Miller Lite. We are straight-faced and ready for pong. As we approach the house, I notice a flamboyantly dressed golfer waiting on the porch. It begins.

A total of 12 teams register. They are as follows:

- It's Magic! - Mysterio and Mark Wilson, Magician. Us.
- Super Beer Pong Brothers - Dead on Mario and Luigi. Right down to the overalls.
- Classic Struggle of Good vs Evil - Superman (amazing costume, right down to the washboard abs) and Lex Luther (suit and skull cap, which coincidentally came off way too early in the competition.
- Cobra Chai - Skeletons, a la Karate Kid. Full body costume. Face paint and all.
- The Sandmen - Golfers in full golfer regalia. With clubs.
- The 17th Wonder - Bo Kreplak, fast-talkin' entertainment lawyer with checkered suit, peppered wig, business cards. His partner, the "talent" - Ox - bald, shiny shirt, sunglasses, goatee, the 17th wonder (as Bo says "right between Andre the Giant and the big ball of twine.") Side note: Bo Kreplak is not to be confused with Beer Pong 3's Moe Kreplak.
- The Kings of Rock - Run DMC. Leather hats, adidas, big chains.
- Couple #74 - A dance competition couple, dressed in matching baby blue with #74 pinned on.
- Mayor Daley Ribbon Cutting Ceremony - Mayor Daley (in suit) and a construction worker in hardhats. They do a ribbon cutting ceremony, complete with speech and photo op before every match.
- Mr. Rodgerers - 2 Mr. Rogers in full costume.
- The Men With the Golden Arm - Returning champions. Two guys in suits with one gold arm.
- The Law - Law students. Dressed like law students. Instant last minute team.

Our first match is up against the Mr. Rogers duo. As they change their shoes, which they do before every match, we perform our first magic trick.

Mark Wilson (to Mr. Rogers #1): Will you please tell me your first name?
Mr. Rogers #1: Paul
Mark Wilson points to me, Mysterio. I concentrate really hard, whisper some magic spell, and lift up my shirt to reveal - writtin on my stomach in big black letters - "PARL".
Mysterio & Mark Wilson: Dammit. So close...

We start off the match knocking off cup after cup. Even after a near comeback, we emerge triumphantly. Our record is 1-0. Next to us, Bo Kreplak and Ox have just sunk a double. They do their signature move where one makes a big "O" and the other makes a big "X" above their heads. The bring them down in unison with a mighty "uh!". The crowd is building.

Next round, we play Superman and Lex. We do a silly card trick. Again, we take the lead early, yet they have a rousing last minute comeback and win. We are 1-1. We need to work on our end game.

Round 3 is versus Cobra Chai. When they sink ball #1, they start the yellin - "Strike fast! Strike hard!" and all that... They're actually pretty scary. We combat by placing magic hexes on all of their shots. We win in a barnburner. 2-1.

By luck of the draw, we play the Mr. Rodgers' again in round 4. We win. 3-1 and we are guaranteed top 8. Our theme song will be played! The Men With the Golden Arm have been upset. The returning champions leave in disgust. Hey, if I lost early, I'd at least stick around for the finals and take full advantage of that keg on the porch! Our theme song is "Magic" by Pilot. You know, the one that goes "Oh, oh, oh it's magic! You know. Never believe it's not so!"

Our first playoff match is against Cobra Chai again, who have the same record. (By the way, big tough Cobra Chai had "The Love Theme from Karate Kid as their theme music, which i thought was hilarious)... And maybe it was the beer of the last 4 matches playing but we lose terribly. As they defeat us, we have to wait until they finish their "Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it!?" routine before we shake hands. We have been eliminated. The costume comes off and I enjoy the rest of the matches. Soon afterwards, Ox, the 17th Wonder is seeing vomiting several times into a garbage can. Like a true competitor, he plays his match like a champ. But they lose to the Sandmen who have been sinkin' em like Tiger.

The finals. 15 cups. No time limit. A huge crowd of spectators chanting, cheering, rooting. I am a spectator now. It's the Super Beer Pong Brothers vs. The Classic Struggle (Super & Lex). My money goes on Super & Lex...

It's an amazing game. I'm told it was the best finals in Beer Pong history. With one cup in front of them, Luigi of the brothers blows out a swirler and the crowd goes crazy. Bo Kreplak (now just a regular guy) starts the curious chant "Best blow ever!" ...

But in the end, superpowers are no match for mushroom smashing plumbers. The Classic Struggle takes home the Beer Pong Plate and we're all gearing up for #5 in September. (Hopefully I'm here. If so, I'll be ready.) The rest of the night is sort of blurry. I talked at length with one of the Rodgerers and one of the skeletons, minus face paint. Nice guys, those Cobras.

5. I will be putting up a nice website flyer for the Rock N Roll Garage Sale, taking place in Port Washington, WI on June 29 & 30th! There will be an unbelievable amount of goodies. Books, records, cds, tapes, bikes, furniture...

10. "Just when it seems so clear... That it's over now... Drink your big black cow... And get outta here!!"
posted by Robert at 10:42 PM ***

Robert:

I know it. I've been absent lately. I've been checking out some jazzy rhythms at the Underground Wonder Bar, removing staples like you wouldn't believe, planning a trip to San Francisco, rocking out to the new Aloha record... and taking part in the infamous Beer Pong Tournament IV. Even I want more details on that night...
posted by Robert at 10:10 PM ***

TBELL:

For all you bored internet surfers, the Grand Theft Autumn Records site is now doing weekly questions with your favorite people in the indie community. Mostly friends, bros, dudes... if interested check it out weekly. It's here. There is also a confirmed band list for the first GTA compilation that's scheduled for a fall release! How exciting! Also look for us to put out the exclusive vinyl format of Wayne Everett's solo album sometime in the near future. You might know him from such fantastic bands as The Lassie Foundation and Starflyer 59.

Enjoy your holiday readers. I'll be spending it in front of a grill.

posted by TBELL at 1:26 PM ***