dan:

Saturday, 60 some degrees it's the end of January...Wisconsin should have snow... Can't you hear me knockin' that's one song I want to learn by the stones..or at least some of the Keith Richards guitar parts...also some pink floyd of course..I just wanna jam.. girls just wanna have fun..It's kinda like torture sitting here at work looking outside across the street at a bar and having it be so nice out..I will go over there and have 2, (two), dose, vie, 2 I say pints of Sprecher Amber all within' 15 min...ok..? Is that so wrong..? thats 7.5 minutes for each pint...thats 3.75 minutes for half of it to be gone leaving another 3.75 minutes to finish the rest..Thats 1.875 minutes to drink half of the half of pint or a quarter of the pint..

Question:

How much time does it take for Dan to consume an american standard pint (16 oz.) of sprecher Amber?

please have your answers written down on a post card or on the back of a 2002 Black Harley Road King with sport suspension and tour package to:

Dan Keehn
337 N Main st
West Bend, WI 53095

peace out-
posted by dan at 12:31 PM ***

TBELL:


Greetings from the land of distgruntled old ladies and cheap produce! Ahhh Park Slope..

Bob you best buck-up on the hangin' over.. tours around the corner.. Heck! I'm already practicing! Also, got to go with that J. Cash.. The 'Solitary Man' cover is reason enough...


posted by TBELL at 4:00 PM ***

Robert:

In the words of the immortal Rodney that morning in California, right before we all listened to "Kicked in the Taco"... "I... am... never... drinking... again."

1. I went out again last night - this time to the swank dank dusty old dive pleasantly known as Tuman's Alcohol Abuse Center. Known for their specials on Bass and Guinness (don't drink it anymore, beaver b's) and for their booming roach clientele. Met some cool cats, and it didn't surprise me in the least when one of them mentioned her blog! Dig it. Like I always say, behind every good talker, there's a great... wait, no that's not it. Behind every great blogger, there's a... nope, not it either. Behind every frog, there's a prince... no. Forget it. I'm still drunk.

2. Speaking of blogs, I never mentioned that I did an interview with Spin about the blog. It should be in the March issue. I wonder if that was before or after all of that goofy Death Row business. (Hey hey hey hey. Smoke weed everyday.)

3. Norman, you sly dog. It is great to see you. You look great. I dig the new doo. Keep it up. I love to hear all of the Berkeley updates. Especially about the vegetarian food. Call me. We have to chat. And tell J that we miss him dearly. Tell him California ain't the same without him and that we'll be at the Riot House all week under the name Harry Houdini. But seriously, tell me more about the food.

4. The upstairs neighbors must have gotten an animal of some sort, because humans just don't scurry like that.

5. I also met a cool joe who, like me, digs himself some good old fashioned Will Oldham... He recommended I buy the newest Johnny Cash album with the cover of "I See a Darkness" on it. So I will. We also talked about crazy show plans. And crazy snow plants. And gray snow pants.

6. Speaking of veggie bacon, doesn't it suck when you stop the microwave to flip the strips and they're so hot in spots that you burn the hot horny toad out of your fingers? Just happened. I should learn by now. Instead I'm like Homer when he falls down the basement stairs. Three times in one episode cause the light is gone... I think I mentioned before how for every single life situation, there's a relevant Simpsons episode.

7. Everytime I go into Ikea, i think of that one episode. You know, with the walking talking allen wrench. Hilarious. I'd explain it more, but I'm still drunk.

8. I'll be boarding my good friend, Amtrak, later on today to head down to that boomin metropolis that I love ever so much, Bloomington-Normal IL. And when I say that I love it ever so much, I really mean that it's like the eleventh circle of hell. But there's some good peoples down there, and an amazing Indian restaurant.... which I will be dining at, and reviewing right here. Don't touch that dial.

9. We also talked about the iPod... Or maybe I just talked about it. And they all rolled their eyes behind my back. More veggie bacon!

10. And I learned from the Almost Famous commentary that the Riot House that I was at (the one that STD got kicked out of) isn't the same Riot House of old... which kind of makes my experience there a little less cool. But that will never change the fact that Biz Muthafunkin Markie was hangin in the lobby.

Yeah, I saw "Just a Friend" on your playlist. Excellent selections you got there, K...

Dan. Need your assistance with drum machines. Aisle 5. Ding dong. Puerto Rico blogging... on such a winter's day...
posted by Robert at 11:15 AM ***

dan:

FRIDAY...where's my PerCh...FISH & CHIPS...

just put a caramello in the fridge for later consumtion..had some cream of broccolli soup this mornin'..mmm good don't tell anyone but I didn't go to my other job last night I had to go hiking cause it was so nice out..I'll work extra hard next week..I'm not even gonna go get my check today either It's not like I can spend it anyway..it's for Puerto rico BABY...feb 12-22 on the beACH kickin' it sippn don Q...I'll make sure to spread my sunblock on evenly cause last time some mom stopped me with her kid and said " can I take a picture of you to show my kids what NOT to look like?" I kinda looked a little burnt..Biitch! Can I take a picture of you to show my friends what you looked like before I gave you a double-ankle-pick-face-rake-combo?


posted by dan at 10:17 AM ***

Norman:

Hey! I'm not dead! Just a little discouraged. I swear to God, I tried blogging from Europe at least three times and was defeated each and every time. And these were detailed posts. With crazy hyperlinks and everything.

Interestingly enough, Bob, I'll be meeting J. for dinner tonight in an hour or so. I will tell him to blog from the studio. He's recording a band out here in San Francisco. I'm just happy to see him.

Now, also, Bob brings up a good point in his where-did-he-find-the-time crazy posts about hosting a radio show. I'm not sure what's up with the band for most of the new year besides writing new material (and Jonah has his solo record coming out in March), so I've been thinking about volunteering at the local radio station, KALX, for a few months so that I can get in the DJ training class and, eventually, get my own show. I used to DJ a hardcore punk show on a pirate radio station on Long Island, NY, back in 1988, but we got busted and the FCC took our transmitter. Bummin'. Anyway, I've been jonesing ever since and I think this might be the chance. KALX is a freeform radio station, which means that playing Ennio Morricone, the Notorious B.I.G., Neu!, Badfinger, Ustad Habib Khan, and Gorilla Biscuits all within the same set is not only permissable, but encouraged. And of course, everyone can listen, because the station is streamed live through their website. Sweet.

Since I've been home, things have been really good. As much as I love playing shows, I'm really happy and relieved to sleep in my own bed in my own apartment in my (sorta) hometown. This is Berkeley. No snow, no winter, some rain, great used records, and cheap vegetarian food. God bless it.
posted by Norman at 6:43 PM ***

Robert:

11. You should be listening to the Weakerthans, I think.

12. Tim Tim the Pogueloving Maniac sent me this link to some photos taken during their reunion European tour. Looks exciting. I joked that if and when they come to the US, I'll become a Poguehead and follow them in a vw bus stocked with nancy whiskey. I don't know what I'm talking about.

13. Why is everything such a headache? Calgon, take me away... Well since we're plum out of Calgon, I'll settle for the Weakerthans.

14. I often say that if I live a long healthy life till age 134 and never hit a golf ball on a full course, I'll be a happy content man. However, there is one thing I'd like to do sometime soon and that is host my own radio show. It sounds like so much fun. I could do it, too. Hell, I've DJ'd a grammar school dance or two in my day. (However I once got booed for playing John Lennon's "Jealous Guy". During the whistle solo even. True story.)

15. If we ever find ourselves at a reputable karaoke bar and I get shy about singing Rio (by Duran Duran, duh), just mention this post. However I will NEVER ever sing a duet to Islands in the Stream because that song just fucking sucks.

16. Tax. She stinks.

17. I'm adding a show or two as it gets confirmed, by the way, including a long time coming melee in Dayton OH, home to my lo-fi hero RP. If you can get him to come out to the show, I'd be eternally hateful, hot freaks!

18. Still have to get to the post office. Boy do they hate me there. And i've found it's not specific to Chicago, either. On this past tour, in (I think) Minnesota, I had to deal with the rudest employee ever. All I wanted was a stinking money order, and the guy acts as if I just asked him to read Infinite Jest aloud for me. Money order = easy. Infinite Jest = difficult. Learn the difference and you will be an excellent postal worker.

19. If we're going to be friends, you should know this one thing about me. I hate talking about anything business related. Just keep the subject exclusive to "Across the Universe" covers, the iPod, the Weakerthans, or Billy Crudup, and we'll get along just fine. Hey, it's just the mood i'm in right now. Tomorrow, maybe i'd enjoy a chat on the (in short demand dammit) fine Trousseau Gris wine of the Retzlaff Winery in Livermore Valley. We can even do an impromptu tasting. I bought a box. D-D-D.

20. You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. And what I need is a mind rest. So it's get dressed and off to the PO. A long walk, but I'm in good company. Have you been formerly introduced?
posted by Robert at 3:48 PM ***

TBELL:

Just chiming in, Brooklyn style.

Recap: Got settled in Park Slope, took the train everywhere, went grocery shopping, saw Brian JTB in the subway, wen't boozing with Lukas in the Village (hes loaning me bootlegs of A Beautiful Mind and The Royal Tennenbaums), plans to go record shopping,still have'nt got a NYC slice, ate amazing curry (Jealous Bob?), still have to do tax stuff, still got to burn Virgins for Dan... er I mean.. got to burn the Air soundtrack for Danny-boy, called home to check on the kids (cats and fish), went to Veg City Diner....

Leaving to drive 14 hours back on Thursday morning. Midwest, I'll see you soon..

Who wants to go to Japan for a few days?


posted by TBELL at 12:54 PM ***

Robert:

In the words of ye almighty HMS, it's a brand new day. Wake up, make your coffee, stretch, take a nap on the way to the shower, pet cat, catnap, catnip, catsup.

1. Last night, I, too had to take on the terrible task of cataloguing all of my records, cds, and dvds. What a chore. By 2 AM, my eyes were closing by themselves. They had enough of the uphill battle that pits general farsightedness against small print. Taint pretty. D.

2. I'm home, obviously, or else I would have gotten up at a decent hour. The temp place still hasn't called me, so I've decided: if they don't call by 3, I'm calling THEM. They'll get a nice polite piece of my mind.

3. Billie sure is meowing a lot this morning. What's up, girl? Is my typing keeping you awake, precious? If I'm not mistaken, you woke me up at 5 jumping at my window, you sweet thing, you,

4. Cheers to the Elmhurst Public Library for hosting quite a swell book sale this past weekend. I diabolically waited until the last day's "bag sale" to make my move. $1 per bag - all you can stuff into it. So I got some really good reads - and you can bet that plastic bag was ready to funking burst as I brought it up to the ancient librarian. I couldn't help but snicker a little. $1 in pocket change and I'm on my way...

5. Now I've never read any Stephen King, and my roommate recommended him, so I picked up "Gerald's Game" and "The Regulators". He said that while he was reading "Pet Sematary", he slept with his lights on. But that's probably because he's scared to death of animals. Dogs & cats especially. In our last joint ditty, one of his lines was "I don't like cats and I don't like poodles". If you were wondering, he rhymed it with "wet noodles"... I also got some John Updike, Paolo Coehlo, Thomas Mann... and I took a chance at an author whose name did not ring a bell: Peter Carey. Hey, if the books all suck, I'm out a pack of Wintergreen Extra.

6. Now that I've got all of this new reading material, I've got all this new reading material to never have time to read. At least when I'm at home. On tour, I can take the little guys like The Fuck Up and Dogrun, but Infinite Jest is still sitting up there laughing at me everytime I glance at it's enormous spine. I can't possibly take that bohemith on tour again! It was like carrying an extra person all day! Plus it's very "hands-on" and I'm not the type of guy that can coordinate 3 bookmarks and a notebook in a speeding van (or bus, don't forget).

7. Cats have so much fun all the time.

8. I have to trudge to the post office today. At least I've got the trusty Pod. I swear, the thing makes the most mind-numbing chores a breeze. Temp place - call me! I'm ready! Maybe this is the perfect excuse to start running or something. The thing has 20 MINUTES of skip protection. Minutes. Isn't that illegal in most states?

9. New to the Pod last night: "Don't Ask Me Why" by Billy Joel, "Stars" by Hum, "Gold Star For Robot Boy" by Guided by Voices, "Just Like Starting Over" by John Lennon.

10. I will now cook veggie bacon. I will never ever get enough of veggie bacon. If only the iPod cooked veggie bacon, then I would move out and find an apartment where I could give it its own room. Breathing space. Don't forget to breathe.

Hey Dan, Hey Mark, Hey Damon, Hey Todd. Where is Norm? J? Paul? Where is pancakes house? Dogs and Deer Don't Mix is a great name for a band. Give me your drum machine.
posted by Robert at 12:15 PM ***

dan:

The name of my new band is calllllled............

Dogs and Deer don't mix

or

purple sKIRTs or hippies with attitudes

OOOOORRRRR

" "

I don't know, to be frank I don't care..
posted by dan at 11:00 AM ***

mark:

Yo
Here's my line-
waiter(forlornly) after being a bad waiter: Enjoy your food.
Me (after being patient):Yeah,enjoy your studio apartment.
Actually,I never say that,but it would be good if I did,right?I got that from the Family Guy.Best new show!!I'm at the offices of Flowerbooking,listening to Cub Country.They'll be on tour soon (with a new ,sweet bassplayer from Milwaukee that I love-Scott Schoenbeck!!).Go see them,and buy them drinks in return for being amazing(in sound and general)Tell 'em Mark sent ya
posted by mark at 7:08 PM ***

Robert:

11. The song in question is called "The Next Episode." Tanks. Tanks and missles, Amy. And now we will listen to Stan Getz & Astrud Gilberto's rousing rendition of "The Girl From Ipanema". I just found out that Astrud had no previous singing experience whatsoever when she rocked this track.

12. Speaking of rocking this track, I've been assured that the Smashing Pumpkins song "Let Me Give the World to You" is the bestest. It's on that album that they only released over the internet. Do you have this album? If you're willing to help me find it, I've got candy here for you. No it's not temple-shootable crank, it's a big ol box of tasty Mike n Ike's. And for good measure, I'll throw in some HM treat from the vault.

13. These were the correct pie-winning answers from my most recent Trivial Pursuit Roommate Rumble: Saigon, Big Dipper (Ursa Major), Pat Sajak, A Checkered Flag, Anemia, Marilyn Monroe, Central Park, Bill Clinton, Nelson Mandela... Now, as previously planned, we must create a rap song with all of the above in it. Hmm. What rhymes with Sajak? Playback... It's just too easy. Drum machine, Dan, drum machine.

14. Do you know of any other "Across the Universe" covers?

15. It's just me and Billie hanging in the crib today. She's nocturnal (what-ever!) so she sleeps all friggin day and then keeps me up all night. She races across the room at lightning speed and makes this faint rattling noise as she revs. It's downright adorable. But at the same time, it's the most fucking annoying thing ever. Ditto for when she decides to lay down basically on top of my head... and gives me this look like she hasn't a care in the world. Meanwhile, the cat hair tickles my face and i'm wide awake. Curses, Bill. Maybe I should feed her more than once a week. (Hopefully you know by now when I'm kidding.)

16. I have to talk a little about the newest Almost Famous DVD. I know Todd touched upon it briefly, but I'll second his emotion by saying that it's super Smokey Robinson. When I first saw the film, I was a little let down. But now i see the light. And it only took an extra hour's worth of footage. I mean, come on, how could you cut so much of my boy, Phillip Seymour Hoffman? The man is incredible... Ditto for Kyle. And anytime you get more Crudup, you win. And the part where you're supposed to cue up Stairway to Heaven and play it during a scene is genious, i tells ya. I did it. The water's nice.

17. You Californians got it real good. Sunshine, Cheap avocados, Astro Burger, and perhaps my favorite quirk of them all: Smoke Free Bars. Hey, I'm not putting down the shmokers, I just can't stand that smell that lingers on barwear. This sweater for instance. Where's the Fabreeze? Puh-leeze.

18. I've gotten close to that Play Station 2. Perhaps too close. I've unlocked a ton more on Simpsons: Road Rage and the characters seem to say new stuff every day. Why just yesterday, Homer, as he was exiting Moe's Sedan-Cab, said "Thanks for the ride - here's your tip: ...Stay in school." That's just rich. It sorta chiefs on my long running restaurant joke that goes something like this: If the service is particularly bad, you say, "Yeah, i've got a tip for this guy/girl: Be a Better Waiter!" I crack myself up every time. Ditto for when the check comes and I lay down my Ikea card and signal that I've got this one. People, please, RUN YOUR JOKES INTO THE GROUND! They just get funnier and funnier. (To you, at least.)

19. I gotta update all of those links. I will try and do it tonight or tomorrow. Try try try.

20. My new years resolution last year was to do at least one of the following every single day: Write, Sing, Clean, Exercise. It lasted about a week. A week! Pathetic... So I'm going to make a Groundhog Day resolution right flunking now. Write every day. Write Write Write. Something good is bound to happen.

of course there's more.

I did an interview here at FiresideOMeter.
posted by Robert at 3:10 PM ***

Robert:

Meow, here i am. Danny Boy, I've been here doctor - it's just that up until today I felt as if I had nothing to talk about. Nothing important, that is... and then i woke up, a little hungover, realizing that i've finally hit upon the grand point: nothing important... Nothing important, yet being made to seem important by providing numbered bullet points...

1. Yeah, i went out last night. I know quite well that overcoming lagging PTD starts with a friendly jaunt out into the world with a friend or two. So when the chance came up, I accepted. We went to a cool little dive bar named "Inner Town Pub" - apparently it was cool DJ night, however when we arrived there was no one there. Not a one. We ordered drinks and decided to partake in the free pool action. But as soon as I finished chalkin the stick * prebreak (anyone need a prebreak?), in walks the motliest of crews - heads straight for the table. The head crew member, a large guy named Art immediately challenges the winner of our match... and then talks our ears off - giving advice, suggesting shots, etc. Isn't it lovely when you go out with a friend you haven't seen in awhile and before you even begin to "catch up", a complete stranger introduces himself into your lives and fouls up the program?

2. You know that Snoop Dogg / Dr Dre ditty that ends with the classic line "Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday" ? What's the name of that song? It isn't "Smoke Weed Everyday", is it?

3. Right around the time we bowed out of the impromptu tourney, the DJ arrived so we snatched his playlist and literally went right down the line of albums and wrote down the songs we wanted to hear. My first request played was "Car" by Built to Spill. As Doug Martsch soothed us, I turned and gave DJ a rousing thumbs up. I subsequently did this every time he played a muthafuckin jam.

4. Thankfully, unlike Snoop, I don't smoke weed everyday, but sometimes I get so flustered and riled up, that I catch myself thinking of it as a possible remedy. Just what the Doctor (Dre) ordered, I suppose. But these thoughts quickly vanish when I realize that it would just heighten my supposed paranoia and all that jazz. I'll just stick with the coffee and the beer. Never together, of course.... Oh yeah, and crack, which I inject into my temples. Just kidding, old joke, let's move on.

5. I lost that pool game. Scratched on the last ball.*

6. There are so many great things to say about the iPod, where do I possibly start? Well, I'll update you on my upload progress: Robert Nanna's iPod contains 1048 songs, has a 4.6 GB capacity, has 592 MB available, and enjoys long walks and fireplaces. The most popular artists on the baby are Fugazi & Guided by Voices (with 28 songs each). Followed by Kind of Like Spitting, Pixies, Pogues, and Michael Bolton. Hopefully you know by now when I'm kidding.

7. Will the iPod destroy the notion of the album? Hardly. Even though I only put the standout jams on it, there is still a warm place in my heart for the big fat full CD, filler and all! (Speaking of Filler, I just realized I have no Minor Threat on here. For shame.)

8. I celebrate his entire catalogue.

9. I enjoy the hits of Cake. And... have you ever heard of this old time musical outfit called the Beatles? Well, they got this song called "Across the Universe". Not only is it Mark's favoritest Beatles song, but it's a favorite all around, as can be seen by a rash of covers that I recently, um, uncovered. I'm about to listen to Rufus Wainwright, Moby & Sean Lennon's version, however I am simply IN LOVE with Fiona Apple's rendition. Guilty pleasure - as charged. It's incredible! And who do I have to thank for this? Gnu know who, don't gnu?

10. I could be a DJ. All I need is some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and the Pod. (Playing: "Across the Universe" by Fiona Apple on endless repeat)

*d-d-d...

i'll be back today. more to say.

ALSO DAN: I DING DONG DIDDLY DOUBLE RECOMMEND THE VIRGIN SUICIDES SOUNDTRACK! If you were here, I'd let you watch me listen to it on the Pod... And I think I want to buy your drum machine.
posted by Robert at 1:01 PM ***

dan:

where are all the bloggers? Am I the only one keeping the fire going..? Isn't this getting boring for some of you..?
posted by dan at 11:25 AM ***

dan:

thanks to everybody for settin' me straight with the air fiasco, preciate it! I ordered moon safari and my loked-out-set-trippin' gangsta, t-o double dee's gonna burn the virgin suicides for me..how nice..what-a-guy..went grocery shopping by myself the other day and spent forty-bucks only..the chick checkin' me out was really excited about the color orange..? I had my orange vest on...she wore orange everyday for a year..ok..?

so I can't eat on clear plates..freaks me out..
I'm finally gonna go pick up this part for my car...if it's the right one this time, jeez..then I'm gonna wash her and fill-er up..how sweet is that..?
posted by dan at 11:25 AM ***

dan:

my hair is growing ever so long..and yet it's pretty managable..could it be the way it's been trained to lay ever so calmly upon my forehead thats plagued with zits..? just kidding no zits..knock on wood..that just flew out of my ace..40 some degrees up here in good ole' wisconsin, walkin' around with no jacket on..lovin' it..thinkin' about a beverage before I get to Pick-n-Steal to shop for food..can someone send me a copy of that band AIR..? I can't find it anywhere..is it air or aire..anyone..? email my ace please...I gotta cruise..
peace out-
posted by dan at 4:24 PM ***

Robert:

Playing on the pod: Police On My Back - The Clash

Why aren't they calling me? I thought I aced my interview with flying colors?

Europe plans are coming together quickly for April. We may be heading over with another band. News to come... Also, I added some shows, with more to come for the weekends of March! ... And info on the upcoming HMEP! I wanna know.

posted by Robert at 11:47 AM ***