Oewihnc:

Where is everybody? Hiding? Crouching tigers? Hidden Dragons? ... Speaking of which, I have gotten many responses concerning my inquiry into this movie. They were all positive. Even the ones that said it's not as good as all of the hype, still had to admit that it's not a waste of time and money by any stretch. Not like Dude, Where's My Car, which i experienced yesterday first hand...

Unlike most blogs, I'm going to try not to put AYWAW? on hold over the holidays. The way i figure it, i always have tons of free time while hanging out at droll family parties. I'd much rather list off my xmas winnings than try and explain to everyone for the 1000th time why i don't eat turkey... Speaking of xmas booty, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Dan Dan the Dancing Sultan Man for gifting me with a wonderful DVD - the chronicles of STEELY DAN's "Aja" album. Oh joy! This is going to be a great christmas after all. I will start my holiday evening with this DVD and then i will drink scotch whiskey all night long in celebration...

Apparently, our christmas bonus this year at the firm is a box of popcorn and a swift kick in the ace. Gee, thanks.

And by the way, why in tarnation is O Brother Where Art Thou NOT playing anywhere in Chicago? This is an absolute crime. This is the most wonderful time of the year to warm up in a nice movie theater (where else can i enjoy that popcorn?) and what have i got to choose from? Well, the pickins aren't too bad, as a part of me is really interested in seeing Cast Away. I'm not sure why. I'm not a huge Hanks fan. I was in no rush to see Forrest Gump or You've Got Mail. But i got a good feeling about this one. That remains to be seen. I'm glad that State and Main is playing in Chicago, albeit at one lonely cineplex... of course, the most expensive one in the Midwest... So i may make it there this weekend... and i'm still planning on seeing Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon some time soon as well. I just like saying the title of that one. Say it five times fast: Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Crotchy Tigger Hilly Dargon, Christy Turlington Ted Danson, Gary Coleman Hal Linden...

Have a great christmas eve eve eve. xxoo.
posted by Oewihnc at 3:39 PM ***

Oewihnc:

Ink. Ink all over my hands... So about this apartment. Woohoo it was amazing. Big loft space. Lots of room. A washer and dryer in the space! Super clean. There is one possible downer though. Both sides of the apartment feature exposed brick. Now, from an aesthetic perspective, it's downright lovely. But i hear through the grapevine that exposed brick does a poor job of insulating you from the cold... Hence, heating bills will skyrocket. Is this true? Is this something i should worry about? Do you have exposed brick? Do you have a higher than usual heating bill? Need the info.
posted by Oewihnc at 1:47 PM ***

Oewihnc:

I saw "Dude, Where's My Car" yesterday. All day. Not the movie. But the harsh reality. Allow me to explain.

In the morning, we wake up. Whenever she's there, she always swings me around to work in the morning. That kiss is a great last feeling right before i plunge into this pit of horror, this chasm of despair, this bane of my weekdays. This particular morning, a deal is struck. I'll get some coffee from the quick-e, she'll go fetch the car from our secret spot and roll up... As i round the corner with coffee in hand, she rolls up, carless, and says "It's gone. My car has either been towed or stolen."

We go check out the scene of the crime. It's gone alright. As sure as my decaf coffee is bland. The detective hat goes on. By the looks of the snow, it's obvious that the car was backed out of it's nest. There also is reason to believe that the car in front of hers was also backed out of it's snowy nook. Hmm. Not typical fare for your average car thief. It's also -32 degrees. Not typical weather for an average car theft. And it's a Volkswagon Golf. Not a typical car to be theived. I surmise that the car was towed. Perhaps because of the snow... albeit no snow route signs in sight. We go back inside to figure it all out. And by now, i'm supposed to be at work.

Back in the apartment, i call in, explain the situation and say i'll be in by 10. We call the dreaded auto pound. Hoping to hear some good news. They have none for us. The car is not there, but it is a possibility that it has come in, but has not yet been logged into their system. And by the way, they are located at 701 N. Sacramento. Now, for you Chicagoans, I live at Belmont and Sheridan, so this is disturbing news. There's is just no easy way to get to this place without a car, and let's just say that it's not exactly the type of neighborhood that Mr. Rogers would want to change shoes in. So, I come up with the brilliant idea that we should both go down there (via bus) and get the car when it comes in. It was obviously towed, so that's the only place it could end up.

Here's some more Chicagoan lingo... We hop on the Belmont bus. My plan is to take it to the Kedzie bus. At Kedzie we are informed there is no Kedzie bus, but we can take the EL at Kimball back to the California stop, whereupon that bus will take us right to the pound on Sacramento. So when we get on the EL at Kimball, we are informed that the train we just got on is an express one to Clark/Lake after it's stop at Logan Square (Kedzie). So we get off there and hail a cab to take us down to the pound, since there's no Kedzie bus. Understand?

We tell the cab driver - "701 N Sacramento." He says, "Oh... So this is going to be a very expensive cab ride." He knows where we're going and the price for towing. He also tells us not to get knocked over the head around there cause that would cost us even more. Thank you, sir. I suppose, just like the guy driving us to Enterprise in Cali, he's only trying to help... But really, just driving should be helping us enough...

When we get to the dreaded auto pound, the temperature has dropped to -12. We head into a nice heated trailer. Luckily there's only a few people in line. I've heard horror stories... We are told that the car is not there, and they have all been logged in. Well then, where is it? They check the City of Chicago computer and it shows that no one has towed the car. They suggest we file a report that it's been stolen. We are upset to say the least. I go outside in the blistering cold and try by hardest to make my fingers call another cab to take us home. I also brave the cold enough to call work and say that i will not be coming in... especially since now we may be heading to the police station.

Right before we leave, the people at the pound decide to tell us that the car could have possibly just been "relocated." As the cab waits, we get a phone number to call. The cab ride back home is $20. When we get inside, we call the relocation place. "Nope. Last night we only relocated one car and it was a Ford."

It was a sad moment when we realized that we would have to call the cops. This means that everything in the car was pretty much gone. A CD player, about 40 CDs including some special comp ones i made as a birthday gift, a nice warm blanket, probably a coffee mug or two in the back. We call em up. She gives them her name and license plate number, but get ready for some more bad news.

In the police system, the plate and registration are under the car's previous owner (coincidentally deceased), even though everything was supposedly switched back in June. So they inform us that nothing could be done. The car couldn't even be reported stolen because, according to them, the car didn't belong to us! At this point, there was only one thing i could do. Regress. I called Mom. She knows everything.
I explain the situation to her voice mail at work. I end the message with "HELP!"

She calls back. She has given the information to a relative of mine who just happens to be a a bigwig politician. As we let the day sink in, we decide to order some food. As we're downing calzones in mourning for the car that i've always called "Grape, " the bigwig rings. "You have a car. It has been towed for partially blocking a crosswalk and it looks like it's at 701 N Sacramento." OK. So we call 701 to give them a piece of our minds. As we get connected, there is a call waiting beep, we click over - "Actually your car is 300 feet south of Diversey on the East side of Lake Shore Drive" This location is about 5 blocks away from the apartment. I reply, "So we just have to go there, pay for it, and take it?" "No. You don't have to pay anything. It's in an empty lot by a meter. Call me when you get it."

Sure enough, there it was. Now, was the car there all along? Was it somehow transported back and forth from 701 Sacramento? Who paid for the towing? What the hell happened today? ... We may never know. The good news is Grape is safe and sound, i successfully missed a day of work... and i saw an apartment... let me tell you about it...
posted by Oewihnc at 10:21 AM ***

Robert:

"Dress appropriately and prepare to take a train." These are the instructions i received this morning. I have no idea what they mean. i do know that there are about 5,000 things to talk about today. I'll try and cover at least 10 in the next few hours.
posted by Robert at 8:57 AM ***

Robert:

The case of the disappearing car. Story at 9.
posted by Robert at 1:32 PM ***

dan:

************************Merry Xmas************************************












Bah humbug !
posted by dan at 9:39 AM ***

Pumpkin:

And there you have it. Beans spilled. Poised and ready to clean. Muffin Family Xmas here i come.
posted by Pumpkin at 3:59 PM ***

Pumpkin:

Did i say 2:30? I meant 4:00. That's what time i leave here to go take some family portraits. It will be a special Muffin family Christmas indeed. It been one of those days again where nothing really substantial happens. Instead of yellow curry soup, i opted for a quick thai fix at nearby restaurant Singha so i could take a ride and scope out perspective living situations. Looking pretty good, i think... I also witnessed an old man lying on the ground in a pool of frozen blood. The blood was coming from his head. There was a fellow standing over him next to a running car. On first glance, it looked like the man was hit by the car. We asked if an ambulance had already been called. The guy said one was on the way... Meanwhile, lamps were going on and off by themselves back at my apartment... and don't even get me started on the possessed heater... Where am I? Why am I here?
posted by Pumpkin at 2:27 PM ***

Pumpkin:

How dare i say such things! I take it all back because this place is a big fat unfunny joke. The sooner i can get out of here, the better. I just had a phone conversation that proves how mean and ignorant certain people can be. Certain people that i have to deal with every single day. Oh brother. Here comes the panic.

In much better news, I will make all of HM's plans public at about 2:30 after i get back from swimming in yellow curry soup. Take me away!
posted by Pumpkin at 12:30 PM ***

Pumpkin:

As usual, there's a lot of work to be done here at the ranch. I had no muffin this morning. I haven't had one for awhile, actually. However, i'm counteracting the absence with a nice hearty lunch of yellow curry soup. Yum. Iloveitiloveitiloveit. I also just set an appointment to look at a nice big loft tomorrow for possible February move in.

It scares me a tiny bit to be moving into a nice new phat place a mere month before i shake the dust of this place off of my boots. Sure it's a drag, but it's a drag with a steady paycheck. I was pretty close to broke when i joined this two bit operation, you know. Wow. Wait a minute... I really have to stop talking like my dad.
posted by Pumpkin at 10:49 AM ***

Robert:

What up? Here's the news. I've thrown the California commentary up on the HM site (click tourblog to the left). so that should keep you busy for a good 3 hours... And that ain't all. Sometime during the day, I'll be updating the news section... revealing the label that will be releasing the Hey Mercedes album in August of 2001. How exciting is that? Uh oh, here comes that panic attack again.
posted by Robert at 9:03 AM ***

Dr. Franklin:

Still waiting for the word while my ulcer grows. It's almost time to get the holy hell out of this clap trap. Tonight, I apartment hunt, I write, I update, I come, I see, I conquer. Out of service.
posted by Dr. Franklin at 3:53 PM ***

Dr. Franklin:

Oh no! I just received word that Kirsty MacCall died today in a boating accident. You may remember her well, as i do, from the classic Pogues song "Fairytale of New York." Her beautiful voice will certainly be remembered by this fan. I'm sure you can find more information on this tragedy somewhere else on the web. I just got an email from Pogue Kid.

This has been an interesting day for sure. Ups, downs, ins, outs. If i was at home, laying in bed, snoozing my alarm clock all day, i may be able to handle all of this...
posted by Dr. Franklin at 1:48 PM ***

Dr. Franklin:

The doctor may have some beans to spill later in the day. The word just came down the wire.

Ever had a panic attack? When your heart feels like it's beating really fast, and you have to just lay down and take deep breaths to get rid of the sensation. It sometimes comes when standing at the precipice of some figurative cliff or perhaps when one is about to go on display - but a lot of times it comes for no reason at all. I feel like this on average about 5 hours a day. Being a seasoned physician, you'd figure i would have the diagnosis and cure at my fingertips, but this one's got me dern hornswaggled. I also have this trick knee. The right one. It stings every time i think of pizza. It's stinging now.
posted by Dr. Franklin at 11:33 AM ***

Robert:

what happened to you? you're not the same... My poor blogspot compadres. I feel your pain.

Speaking of pain, I woke up this morning at 6:15 and proceeded to hit snooze up until about 7:10. It's real interesting playing with your consciousness. One time, I woke up and thought I was infiltrating some kind of force field to turn off the alarm. Another time, I fell to the ground, thinking a chair was more stable than it really is. The best part is: by the time 7:10 rolls around and i have to get up, i'm naturally awake. This logic did not work well when i shared a dorm room with two other people in college, but now that i'm alone in a room, it works like a dream.

Speaking of dreams, you really have some great ones during what i refer to as: the snooze hours. Yesterday, I dreamt that i was on the moon. There was a person on a ladder hovering above me, scraping at something and moon dust was falling on my head. I was looking at the big beautiful earth and i was trying to get my friend to look at it with me. I then broke down realizing that we were so so far away. Then the alarm rang. Brilliant.

It's going to be a busy one again today... and i hope to finish the tour junk as well. So what's the news?
posted by Robert at 9:14 AM ***

Drunk:

Is BOP IT like the coolest game or what? ... So this Monday is pretty firmly in the bag and i got a lot done here. Bop it. Only 2 days left of tourblog to finish up, and then i have to re-do that whole page because Affinity decided to eat some of it. Why those rotten, no good... Also i've got a bunch of new pictures which i hope to put up today! Twist it. Including new ones from Boston, St. Louis, & LA. Also, i'm going to put some shots up to go along with the commentary (including some great Price is Right pix!)... If you were wondering, i scored a 155 on the SPARK IQ test. I wanted to do the Sex test, but Officer Surfwatch wielded his big stop sign. Bop it. Check it out! Pull it. I'm out of here. See you tomorrow. Pass it.
posted by Drunk at 3:46 PM ***

Drunk:

Again, i've been keeping pretty busy today in other areas of avoiding work, but i did happen to read a small snippet about Johnny Depp, Shane MacGowan, and the movie Chocolat. The link will probably only work today and early tomorrow. After that, i'm not sure where the news blurb goes, but to paraphrase, Mr. Depp has modelled himself after the legendary Mr. MacGowan for his role in the movie Chocolat... which makes that movie a little bit more interesting for me....
posted by Drunk at 2:05 PM ***

Drunk:

After that first entry, it could only be Drunk... I'm not one for martial arts movies. Never have been. Why, even in a cloudy stupor, i opted for uncomfortable sleep on a hard Brighton floor over Hard Boiled. But i am very intrugued by all of these awards/great reviews for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Has anybody seen this? Would i like it? Should i wait until next year so i can count it as one of my 100 and review it? Too many questions to consider, and as always, too little time.

This week is another doozey. My big worry is the old living quarters. In order for us to break the lease and come out scot-free, we need to track down 3 people willing to sublease for six months (February-August). Are you those 3 people? Please, email me. We've only got a month and a half and the time is fleeting... Also, do you want Hey Mercedes stickers? I put 100 up at a buck apiece on Ebay, with free shipping. Let's skyrocket our feedbacks. Together. I'm Drunk.
posted by Drunk at 11:18 AM ***

Robert:

Freezing cold days and Mondays always bring me down. Good morning, all. Actually, I'm in a pretty good mood for a Monday, a la two weeks ago... I think it is the result of a great, fulfilling weekend, that had no interference from some fabled blizzard. Criminy, i don't think one lone flake fell all day on Saturday! And the way CNN was projecting it, we'd all be trapped inside rationing food by now.

Friday night's office Christmas party was an odd one. Check it out. It was at a big dance club called Circus, hidden, like all good dance clubs, behind a strip mall. I walked in and found my name tag on a table, looked up and i was in a huge circular room. Sort of like the War Room from Dr. Strangelove if it was cushioned in velvet. The room was pretty empty, except for a fellow set up in the middle of the room, ready to stir fry...

The party was in another room. I walked in and saw that the place was, in reality, packed. Co-workers shimmied by with drinks in hand. There is a guy in a multi-faced mask in a dramatic costume on stilts, taking pictures. There is a bloke with a big fake nose and a tuxedo juggling bowling pins. There's a mannequin all in roman white up against a pillar... it's no mannequin. It's a real person and some partiers are trying to make her laugh... It's always strange and a tad embarrassing to see co-workers outside of the standard work setting, but when you add alcohol, dance music, and this surreal setting... You will never look at these people the same way again!

I drank some free drinks and shimmied my way out of there. Remember when i posted about the horrible Tequila Roadhouse? Well, it turns out that one of the friends of a friend that i met that night actually won a party there! More free drinks. Luckily this soiree only lasted an hour, cause i was pretty ready to leave as soon as i walked in. I thought i saw my friend laying on the bar with his shirt off, with a bridal party hovering around... but it was only an evil flashback.

I drank some free drinks and shimmied my way out of there.

Saturday morning i trained up to Milwaukee. I felt very inspired to write along the way but was ultimately thwarted when i found the only writing device in my bag was an old Sharpie... and it was out of ink. So it felt good to destroy it right there on the train... My frustrations quelled, i arrived in my second city. Santa distributed his gifts to all of the good little rock n rollers and we went to another party (a formal one. good thing someone told me) over at the enigmatic Mike D's. I talked tours, movies, horsey doovers... i drank some drinks we brought and shimmied my way out of there.

To top off the weekend, i took some birthday moms out to dinner. Happy Birthday, Moms... Now i'm back at work, which means back to work on the old commentary, which should and shall be done by Wednesday. Yessir. Yessiree Me.
posted by Robert at 9:01 AM ***